Where do idea's come from?

A friend asked me recently where I get ideas from, so I’ll spill the secret.

First you need a net made from drunken spider silk. It's usually easiest to give the spiders alcohol before they produce the silk since getting a net to drink is notoriously difficult.

Once you have the net, you’ll need to head towards the Southern lights. Directly beneath the aurora you’ll find a small cave entrance with rainbow coloured crystals growing around it, head inside.

Be sure to leave out an offering for Pedro at the small alter so he makes sure the Dark One Who Slumbers is safely locked up, otherwise things get complicated.

Deeper in the cave is an underground forest, and there you’ll see the ideas buzzing about like fireflies. Resist the urge to try and catch some with your net, that just scares them away.

Instead find the river filled with fluorescent blue fish. Use the net yo catch those. Be careful, the net is fragile and the current strong, that's why it was important to get the silk drunk so it doesn't notice. For some reason any other material these fish swim straight through like it isn't there. Something about them being superposition fish I’m told.

You need to catch five of them, and move them from the river to the nearby pond. There they will jump from the water to catch the ideas. If the fish turn grey, it's a bad idea best ignored. If they turn gold, it's a good idea.

Remove any grey fish from the pond, and once filled with golden fish, you’ll need to disrobe and bathe in the water. Bring a snack. It's important not to leave the water for 14 hours and 27 minutes once this starts. If you haven’t left the water before 14 hours 29 minutes, though, you will need to start the process again.

At the end of that time the gold fish will be gone, and you will be ready for the final step.

Return home, and avoid eating meat for twelve days.

Finally, when all this is done, you will have an idea. Best to keep it in a terrarium with plenty of fresh leaves to nibble on and keep the lighting dim so it can thrive.